ALYSSA ALEXANDER

Circa 39 Hotel, A Gem in Miami Beach

7/27/2018

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With so many hotels in Miami Beach, you want to be sure to pick the one that's right for you to make your stay the best it can be. Circa 39 Hotel was unique, eclectic, colorful, and the perfect location for us for Miami Swim Week. Granted, most of the events of Swim Week were in South Beach, but it was nice to head back to Mid-Beach away from all the hustle and bustle after the events for the day. This boutique hotel was just a walk away from the beach, and a happy home for explorers at heart. Their mission is to provide a taste of the melting pot that is Miami.
With its vibrant décor inspired from all around the world, a swimming pool, tropical courtyard called the WunderGarden, WunderBar and Jules Kitchen restaurant inspired by Jules Verne’s Classic “Around The World in 80 Days” it sure catches your eye. The food was great, as well as the array of cocktails. I had the “Oriental Crush” which was their twist on a Mojito with Appleton Estate Signature Blend, Elderflower Liquor, Crushed Mint, Japaneze Yuzu, topped with Prosecco. So refreshing!
One day we even got lunch ordered at the pool and I had the best Mexican inspired Cobb Salad I have ever had! The hotel was a down-to-earth, budget-conscious hide-away with its casual and wordly ambience inspired by travel. The rooms were very unique and colorful and our housekeeper folded our towels into various shapes every day. The hotel is Florida Green Lodging Certified and a Trip Advisor Green Partner with a focus on environmentally friendly processes, procedures, and initiatives. Overall it was a very nice stay and I would highly recommend this hotel for your next visit to Miami!
For more Information on this hotel or to book your next trip click here: www.circa39.com/?utm_source=alyssalexander&utm_medium=social

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Giving the gift of hope & life.

7/7/2018

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Egg donation. Something that a lot of people may find taboo to talk about or didn't even know existed, however it is something I went through recently and if it wasn’t for the blog articles, YouTube videos, and testimonials from actual women who had been through it before I may not have been able to make an informed decision for me, which was in my best interests to do it or not. I am bringing light to this not to ask for praise or criticism either way, but to simply inform. For women considering doing it, or for people who simply are curious who didn’t even know it existed, this is for you. For those wanting to criticize my decision please stop reading now.

As I grow older I start to hear more of women struggling with fertility, or LGBT couples needing an egg donor, and when I would hear couples’ stories as they teared up or talked about how frustrating it was I wished there was something I could do to help them. While I am not and have never been a “kid” person, (I am more of an animal person) I know, at least for now, I am not reproducing or using my eggs any time soon. I am single as a pringle and have no desire to have or raise a child on my own, at least not yet. If it happens for me great, if it doesn’t, I really won’t be THAT distraught about it. At least for now, it is not on my list of priorities or things that I think will make me happy. I came to a point where I figured, why not let someone else who really really needs or wants them have them, to help create a life!? If my body isn’t going to be creating a life anytime soon, cells from my body can! After this process I have realized just how amazing our bodies are and what they can do!

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) about 10% of women in the US have difficulty getting pregnant, or staying pregnant. It could be due to a number of things, poor egg quality, premature ovarian failure, diminished ovarian reserve, etc. There are also many LGBTQ couples needing sperm or egg donors to begin to build a family. I learned that there are many reasons a couple may need an egg donor and there are a number I had never thought of before. The potential to transmit a genetic disease to the child is a big one I had never thought of before. When you go through the donation process, they do a bunch of genetic testing on you that can detect whether you are a carrier of any genetic diseases. You don’t have to have symptoms of these to be a carrier, but if you were to say, have a child with sperm from an individual that is, the baby has a higher risk of being born with that condition. It was nice to have this testing done to know that I am not a carrier of those.

The whole process from when I first submitted my application to the end was a good 6 months. It starts with a VERY thorough application process that both the agency and fertility clinic I worked with went over. You have to know and provide a lot of your family background, health, blood type, etc. Once my application was reviewed, I was contacted by the agency to go over the process in detail, what would be asked of me, how many doctor’s visits it would take, etc. This was very important, as I had to make sure my job schedules would work as well as any modeling opportunities I had coming up.

You start with an orientation at the fertility clinic, an ultrasound, to make sure your ovaries are able to handle the process, a couple rounds of blood and urine tests, the DNA testing, as well as a meeting with a psychologist. They want to make sure not only your body is ready to go through something like this but that you are mentally able as well. They want to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, and not completely crazy. A history of severe anxiety, depression, etc. may hinder you being able to participate.
Once you are cleared as completely healthy enough to go through the process, the hard part begins. You start on a few weeks of birth control to “prep” your ovaries. You then start the hormone injections after a few blood tests to make sure you are ready. I was on the injections for a bit more than the usual 8-10 days, and originally being terrified of needles, let me say that if anything this process has definitely gotten me over my fear of needles. You have to give yourself multiple injections daily during this process and they have to be at a specific time each day. Many women say they have a lot of issues with the injections causing mood swings, depression, etc. and have just had a terrible time with them. I really was not affected much mood wise, I did cry once, but that was mostly because of the uncomfortable bloating and not being able to work out. I did gain a bit of weight, as you aren’t supposed to work out or do anything strenuous. I couldn’t ride horses or lift weights at all, I could only basically walk. You will most likely get bruises on your stomach, like I did and have to photoshop them out of images! Haha (yes that happened) and you may feel fat, bloated, and uncomfortable, but for the most part it wasn’t complete and utter hell.

The last couple days before the retrieval were probably the worst. Getting that last ultrasound while it feels like your ovaries are double their size is VERY painful and you just want them to get it all over with! The day of the retrieval they give you a valium to relax you and it is very early in the morning. My mom came with me and drove me there and back. They sedate you enough to where you are semi-coherent. I remember clouds painted on the ceiling and asking if they were real or not, and a lot of pain/pinching during the process, but for the most part the anesthesia caused me to forget most of it shortly after. They tell you to request off work the whole day after your procedure, which I did. It was nice to just relax the rest of the day. I did it on a Friday so I also had off Saturday and Sunday to recover, which was nice. The pain afterwards and the time it takes to recover all depends on your body and how it responds to the procedure, medications, etc. I felt pretty back to normal within a week or so, minus the bloating.

I am back to being able to resume normal activity and feeling back to normal, with the exception of the weight gain, but what everyone is probably wanting to know, was it worth it? All in all, for the amount of compensation (even though I wish it was more) it was not nearly as bad as I anticipated it to be and I would probably do it again. If you are someone who doesn’t need the money or will freak out about the idea of your DNA creating another human being, this won’t be for you. It is tough on your body and involves serious time, energy, and commitment. Also, if you have a legitimate fear of needles you don’t think you can get over this is also not for you. It was a very empowering experience, and I hope my experience helps another woman make a decision to do this. They need egg donors. The clinic is already asking me to do it again because of the low number of healthy and willing donors and the high demand in recipients.

In the end, even though the money is nice, it is also comforting to know you did something compassionate and selfless for someone out there. They got 22 eggs from me, 15 of them viable, which will most likely go to a couple different recipients to create life for a couple human beings. It is a crazy process, but very rewarding. Not only financially rewarding, but personally rewarding as well. There is a quote I came upon recently that says: “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” I am at a point in my life where I want to do as much good for as many people as I possible can. I want to go through my life knowing I have positively impacted as many people as I can with my time on this Earth. Going through this process helps me believe I am taking another step in that journey.

If anyone has any questions please let me know! I am here for informational purposes to educate anyone who is curious! I have not released the name of the clinic or where I went publicly (this is to help me be as anonymous as possible to potential recipients) but if you would like to know details, you are more than welcome to message me personally.

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"We accept the love we think we deserve”

2/3/2017

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As we approach Valentine’s Day, I know it is always a touchy time of year for some people; especially us “single” people. We are looked at as being bitter or lonely for being single or for feeling a certain type of way about Valentine’s Day. Even being single though, I still actually like the idea of having a day out of the year where you can show your loved ones you care. With all of the hate in the world these days, I’m so glad we can have one day to focus on love and kindness and acceptance.

Side note: Why is there such a negative connotation towards being single? It’s like there’s this view that if someone is single they are less of a person than someone who is in a relationship, or are missing out on life because they are single. No human being is “better” than another human being just because they have found a significant other. I may just not be there yet, but heck, I am happier single now than I ever was with someone else, because I was never with the right person.

Which brings me to my next point, let’s talk about relationships! How we feel about ourselves and our lives defines what type of relationships and love we let in and what type of people we surround ourselves with.

There’s a saying that goes “we accept the love we think we deserve”; which, even though it is sad to admit, I have been guilty of before. I have been through times in my life where I didn’t think I deserved love or didn’t think I deserved to be treated right. That it was just the way things go, and pretty normal to feel mentally and emotionally abused. I felt that I didn’t deserve to be treated any better than I was being treated, because of my low self-confidence. Not just with my body but with myself in general. I would find myself bitter and not able to feel happy for those around me that were finding love, or getting married, or happy with their significant others, because my relationship was always “on the rocks.”

Then it hit me, I don't deserve this, but I had to be happy with myself and love myself, before someone else could make me happy. I couldn’t use my relationship as a crutch or a scale to judge how “happy” I was. It was an emotional roller coaster letting my toxic relationship define whether I was essentially happy or not. I was happy when we were doing good, and I was depressed when we were fighting or struggling. I am a firm believer that yes, the love from a significant other CAN bring you happiness, but you don’t NEED that love to be happy. Make a happy life for yourself before you bring someone else into it to make you happy. Once you are happy, confident, and love yourself, only then will you allow yourself to accept the right kind of love. Push those negative people that don't treat you right out. You don't need them, and you don't have to accept them and their actions. Now, I am able to get past that bitterness and feel happy for my friends and family that are in happy, fulfilling, & respectful relationships.

To all my single ladies out there, don’t be ashamed that you’re single on Valentine’s Day. It is not something to be looked down upon for, and there is nothing wrong with you. It just may not be your time. I see too many girls rush into relationships because of the fear of being alone, or thinking that is what will make them happy. But the truth is, they start making compromises, losing their identity, and diminishing their self-worth. Just do me a favor, and enjoy being single for a while. You will find that person out there eventually when you are least expecting it.

You deserve just as much love as the next person. Being single isn’t a “death” sentence; it’s actually an opportunity to give love to the person that’s most deserving. YOU!

Image Credit: Amanda Cantrell

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It's a New Year, who has the key?

1/2/2017

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Kicking off into 2017 I figured it would be a good time to start a blog. I have been asked a couple times now to create one and who knows who will actually read it, but I do have opinions, reflections, and advice for whoever is willing to listen and I actually love writing. My goal is to inspire as many people as possible with this modeling venture/platform; it is not only for my own personal growth but for those who are following my journey as well.

As we begin the new year, alot of people have resolutions or goals for the new year. Alot of them are body or health related, and I honestly hate that we put so much emphasis on things we want to change about our bodies or what others influence us to change. This week is always the most crowded at the gym and when some people begin resolutions they will have given up on by February. Sure, there are things I wish I could change about myself, my eyebrows suck, I have eczema on my face, arms & legs, scars, stretch marks, and I could afford to lose a few pounds. But I am not going to obsess over the things I don't like about my body or think that life will finally begin when all of these "flaws" are gone, fixed, or hidden. You can still live a fullfilling, happy life before those things happen, while you are in the process. If you want to workout more and eat healthier to take care of your body like I will be focusing on in 2017, do it for the health aspects and not because you are looking to change the way you look or make something smaller or bigger. You are still beautiful at any shape or size. I believe there is a difference between wanting to change yourself and wanting to improve yourself, but you also have to do it for YOU and for nobody else.

As someone who has struggled with body confidence and back and forth weight issues, various diets, & workout routines, I am finally confident in who I am in my late 20s and looking back, most of it had to do with the relationships I had in my life. At one of my most physically fit and smallest size/weight years of my adult life, I was in a very toxic relationship. I was with someone who didn't appreciate me and who made me feel like I needed to look like these girls he talked to or followed on Instagram or hung on his walls or liked on Facebook. I used to avoid going out with friends because I was afraid of going over my calories for the day, or miss spending time with my friends or family because I was spending hours in the gym every day (sometimes 2 or 3 times a day). I became an obsessed gym rat running 5 miles a day and going to 2-3 fitness classes because I thought, maybe if I lose these last 10 pounds he will love me more or things will work out. It was emotionally and mentally exhausting the things he would say and do. My happiness was determined by how well my relationship was going and how I looked to him. When I finally got to a point I was so unhappy with not only my body but myself in general, I realized it was this toxic relationship that was controlling my happiness and the way I felt about myself.

There is a saying that you should "Never put the key to your own happiness in somebody else's pocket" and I truly stand by that these days. If there is a person in your life that is bringing you down, or controlling your happiness, or how you feel about yourself SAY GOODBYE. Sometimes letting go of that negativity is the best thing you can do for yourself. So, if you have any goals or resolutions for this year in 2017, make sure that they are set for yourself and for your happiness and no one else's.

Image Credit: Lexington Boudoir

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Circa 39 Hotel, A Gem in Miami Beach

Giving the gift of hope & life.

"We accept the love we think we deserve”

It's a New Year, who has the key?

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