Kicking off into 2017 I figured it would be a good time to start a blog. I have been asked a couple times now to create one and who knows who will actually read it, but I do have opinions, reflections, and advice for whoever is willing to listen and I actually love writing. My goal is to inspire as many people as possible with this modeling venture/platform; it is not only for my own personal growth but for those who are following my journey as well.
As we begin the new year, alot of people have resolutions or goals for the new year. Alot of them are body or health related, and I honestly hate that we put so much emphasis on things we want to change about our bodies or what others influence us to change. This week is always the most crowded at the gym and when some people begin resolutions they will have given up on by February. Sure, there are things I wish I could change about myself, my eyebrows suck, I have eczema on my face, arms & legs, scars, stretch marks, and I could afford to lose a few pounds. But I am not going to obsess over the things I don't like about my body or think that life will finally begin when all of these "flaws" are gone, fixed, or hidden. You can still live a fullfilling, happy life before those things happen, while you are in the process. If you want to workout more and eat healthier to take care of your body like I will be focusing on in 2017, do it for the health aspects and not because you are looking to change the way you look or make something smaller or bigger. You are still beautiful at any shape or size. I believe there is a difference between wanting to change yourself and wanting to improve yourself, but you also have to do it for YOU and for nobody else.
As someone who has struggled with body confidence and back and forth weight issues, various diets, & workout routines, I am finally confident in who I am in my late 20s and looking back, most of it had to do with the relationships I had in my life. At one of my most physically fit and smallest size/weight years of my adult life, I was in a very toxic relationship. I was with someone who didn't appreciate me and who made me feel like I needed to look like these girls he talked to or followed on Instagram or hung on his walls or liked on Facebook. I used to avoid going out with friends because I was afraid of going over my calories for the day, or miss spending time with my friends or family because I was spending hours in the gym every day (sometimes 2 or 3 times a day). I became an obsessed gym rat running 5 miles a day and going to 2-3 fitness classes because I thought, maybe if I lose these last 10 pounds he will love me more or things will work out. It was emotionally and mentally exhausting the things he would say and do. My happiness was determined by how well my relationship was going and how I looked to him. When I finally got to a point I was so unhappy with not only my body but myself in general, I realized it was this toxic relationship that was controlling my happiness and the way I felt about myself.
There is a saying that you should "Never put the key to your own happiness in somebody else's pocket" and I truly stand by that these days. If there is a person in your life that is bringing you down, or controlling your happiness, or how you feel about yourself SAY GOODBYE. Sometimes letting go of that negativity is the best thing you can do for yourself. So, if you have any goals or resolutions for this year in 2017, make sure that they are set for yourself and for your happiness and no one else's.
Image Credit: Lexington Boudoir
1/2/2017 04:26:27 pm
Great read. Your going to do big things like someone I know. Ashley Smith started out as a small town model and look at her now! Keep faith and I can't wait to see what you do :)
1/2/2017 08:45:01 pm
I cant wait to read more. You are a great influence to all of us that are struggling with body image issues. Thank you. The world needs more inspirational people like you.
9/5/2022 08:06:19 am
Thanks ffor this
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